Quick Wedding Update

Two weeks. TWO WEEKS. TWO. WEEKS. TWO WEEKS. Two weeks and I will be a married woman. I have a cousin who is coming to visit and help me clean up. (Mostly cause he wants out of the house and to meet Tyler. Hanging out with me is just a side bonus). But two weeks and I will be married. Excitement and feeling like a possible freak out could happen any moment......though I am mostly calm...it's just like that feeling you get when you're watching a zombie movie and you know someone is about to get eaten but you just can't quite tell who or at what precise moment...you just know it's going to happen. The anticipation is building. Oh, and I found out one of my fave persons (Sharon) who first exposed me to Florida (a state which a few years ago I mostly despised thinking of it as little more than a swamp filled, gator infested, hurricane trap with a few overrated beaches interspersed) is coming to the wedding. I am SO excited about this. She is a lovely older than me (by maybe 20 years) Christian woman whom I admire. We worked together in youth ministry for many years and she is one of the people I think God placed in my life so I would come to know Him. So I am really excited she is coming. I need to avoid baby sections. I blame it all on Dallas but I cannot decide what to get her so I am trying to avoid these sections in stores or else I feel I may come home with more than I intend. Can hardly wait to meet her. But well, baby sections are full of really cute, colourful, cuddly things. Which I suppose is good cause from my understanding babies are supposed to be cute and cuddly. (From a nursing perspective colourful, too. Acrocyanosis FTW! Not really ftw, but it makes me feel smart to use a word most people have to look up.) *sticks tongue out*

I sure hope everything I have ordered arrives on time. I am so excited and nervous and just can hardly believe it will be two weeks. I only work six days out of the next two weeks. Two sets of three twelve (if only) hour shifts. I may end up working in the ICU during one more shift. First time floated to that unit two nights ago. I had three supposedly easy patients. Night was going well til one of them coded. The man literally just stopped breathing while I and resp therapy tried to get his O2 increased. Watching someone turn blue as you do everything you can to keep them from doing that will definitely get your heart pumping (especially when the heart stops beating after that). The ICU staff we have are very knowledgable and helpful and it was a successful code. Now what is funny about this is that I volunteered to go to ICU that night instead of taking the hall with the patients I had the night before. My nursemate Cindy was supposed to go but I let her talk me into going cause I needed the learning experience. That morning when I left I found a yellow sticky on my car from Cindy "I got out of here before you got me." I also had found out that night Cindy is the one who always takes the parking spot I like which is another reason she was quick to leave. (It's just a parking spot and I am flexible, but it added to the humour). I have a plan to get her back though. *grins impishly*

And I have to say God has blessed me with some humourous, fun to work with, knowledgable, supportive nursemates on the floor. I really enjoy working with people and love our little hospital.....I just hate paper work and having seven patients I don't feel I can give enough time and attention.

Also as a wedding gift Tyler and I might be getting a ferret whom we shall name Twitch and teach neat tricks to.....and I figure if a ferrent can survive us and we have learn enough watching Dustin and Angela with Dallas maybe in a few years I will get over my fear of pregnancy exit strategies......BUT ANYWAYS.....JUST TWO WEEKS!!!!

Wal-Mart and other musings

I go to Wal-mart twice a month. I usually go in the wee hours when they're stocking and spend usually about three hours and a lot more money than I was hoping I would. It's my big night out as when I'm not out of town visiting family I stick to strictly night shiftiness. Which means most stores are closed by the time I am fully awake and functional. (Takes me longer to reach this state when I don't have to work or be anywhere in particular). But mostly I shop as if the zombie uprising is gonna happen tomorrow.

So on this trip I found out that Wal-mart (at least the one here) has decided to stop stocking my favorite fragrance (Healing Garden Lavendar...which supposedly has a calming effect) and the deodorant I love to use (Ban). The Wal-Mart powers that be have decided I should be smelly. I dislike being smelly. Therefore....after the last of what I have has run out I shall be forced to find alternate means of obtaining what I want. I guess that means I may have to wake up one day and try something new. *sticks tongue out*

I also picked out and Easter scrub set being that I work on Sunday. The pants are most definitely black but the top is white with black ties.......and pretty pink and purple flowers. Very cheerful.

And even more shockingly......I got a hair thingie. It's a Vidal Sassoon twirly brush that supposedly curls your hair as you blow dry it. Yeah. We'll see how that works out.

I also bought two new house plants. As you may know, or are soon to find out, I don't do so well with houseplants. These plants are meant to be the replacements for a couple of my latest victims. I originally had five, but now with these ones I now have a total of 3.25 plants. You may do the math if you wish. For your viewing pleasure, this is a long dead spider plant I had during nursing school. I tried to use my mad nurz skillz but being that I mentioned the plant is long dead......it didn't work.
And lately it seems that people everywhere are popping up pregnant! How is this happening???? Via faceboook I have found out several people I know are preggo. A couple girls at work are of the same condition. I even touched one of their pregnant bellies (baby girl inside). And of course there is Angela. *smiles* I wonder if houseplants get pregnant. Have I ever mentioned that the only course I could not handle in college was botany? The only thing I wanna know about plants are will they give me a rash, can I eat them, and if I eat them will they give me a rash. But back to the pregnant people. I think there is an epidemic. All of them seem to be going to deliver this fall. Maybe we should contact the CDC in Atlanta. (In all seriousness, I hope everyone delivers happily, healthily, and painlessly. Babies are blessings).

And before I grab snugglebunny (who cannot get pregnant as he is a boy and made of stuffing) and head off to bed.......there are 27 days after this until the wedding. At what point do I start freaking out?!?!?! So exciting!

That's My King!

That's My King! I LOVE this video. It was shared by my dear British Becky who is a sweet lady and a faithful servant of our King. So I had to share it because it highlights just how awesome our King is.....and when you think about it.....how amazing is it that someone so majestic, so pure, so high, so mighty should love us? We who are weak, broken, and pathetic on our own? How awesome is it for Him to have given His life for ours? To know that God looks at Christ and pardons us? How awesome is that? Just something to think about as we celebrate the life, death, and resurrection of our King this coming weekend.

Once upon a time when I was a Sunday school teacher (and before I knew Christ personally) during an Easter lesson one of my students asked me a question that caught my attention. He wanted to know that if God demanded a perfect sacrifice, why did He wait til Jesus was all grown up to have Him die on the cross? Why didn't God just kill Jesus when He was a baby? I had to admit I was quiet for a minute. But what I told him was that Christ had to grow up to show us how to live, so that we had an example to follow. Also because Christ had to submit to God's will. He had to choose to die for us. That question still causes me to stop and think sometimes.

And now....in sillier thoughts.....I baked a decent apple pie using a new recipe. I added a caramel flavoured syrup to the crust. I would have taken to my gals who were working on the night shift but we had a horrible rain storm last night and I admit it was a bit scary. I sure wish someone/anyone lived close enough to eat the things I bake and try out my new recipes. But praise God for the rain and His many blessings. (And also for an apartment that smells really nice)!!! L♥ve yas!

Je Ne Sais Pas

Possibly my favourite French phrase because it sounds nice and it made me seem really smart in French class when I would answer Mr. Caudle with "I don't know" in the appropriate language. That is what life seems a lot like lately: I don't know. And it does kinda freak me out. A LOT. Commitment and not knowing do that for me. And it could be the realization that I'm going to be someone's wife in about just a month and even though all the wedding plans are seeming to come together the actual reality of it's more than just one day I'm preparing for.....it's a lifetime which is sorta a long commitment. Well, not sorta....it IS.

And well, I wish I could say the wedding day and life happily ever after is something I had always dreamed about (least if I had dreamed about the wedding planning woulda prolly gone a lot smoother). Never really thought much about marriage because I just figured it wouldn't happen for whatever reason. And I was content being single, too. Not to mention that commitment to most things just wasn't my style. Being committed demands your time, effort, best and not being so scared of failing. Not mucking things up (Phrase I like to use because when we were little we would visit Grandma Conner's house and wade for crawdads and other slimy things in the creek behind the house. If you didn't walk just perfectly you would make the water mucky with all the stuff from the bottom of the creek making it impossible to see what you would need to do to catch critters) is a lot easier when you don't even try. But marriage had always seemed the WORST sort of commitment because you have to really pay attention to someone else in such a way that you just don't do with most people. And if ya muck that up then things are just ubermucky from that point on.

But God is great, God is good, and God has a sense of humor. Best of all He has plans for a future (Jeremiah 29 :11) for even a wayward, stubborn child.

At some point a while ago I "met" my fiancee online via a facebook group. I disliked him intently to put it nicely and I let him know that, too. Often. But what I love about Tyler is that even though I was harshly honest with him, he was still so compassionate and would listen to my rants, raves, and struggles. And it was his love for God and the mission work God directed him that really drew my attention to him and made me want to converse with him (eventually a promise to teach me to play spades that would later be fulfilled after I was his girlfriend for more than a month). Typically I do not engage in conversation with people I dislike but I love talking about God and how He has changed a person's life.

Even when I was short with him Tyler would be patient with me, too. Another thing I admired was Tyler's honesty.....though he can be brutal with it at times. Not to mention Tyler is genuinely sweet deep down, is a hard worker, and dedicated to those things he is passionate about (especially God and his family). And Tyler reminds me that I am a child of God, became a friend who not only prayed for me but would pray with me, and would remind me that I am a beautiful person inside, outside, upside down (maybe that's a bit silly, but Tyler has a quirky sense of humor that makes me smile/laugh even when I don't want to). So after a while I started thinking of Tyler as a friend. He has been a good friend but eventually I started praying to God to make him go away. I would pray for God to make Tyler hate me cause I did not want to muck up such a great friendship (rather end it than develop it further because it's pointless in my opinion to start relationships with someone you cannot see yourself marrying from the get go and the best way to avoid marrying someone is to avoid relationships). Guess that wasn't God's plan.

Eventually I mentioned to Tyler that I had affections for him that I did not want. I thought that might make him go away. Didn't work. If anything he was still just as sweet, caring, patient, etc as ever. Twas irksome. It was funny cause Tyler would mention things about being in relationships and I would hyperventilate. Literally. And he would sweetly talk me through getting my breathing under control. (If we were chatting online and I stopped typing for too long he would call to remind me to breathe slowly). At one point we took a three day break to consider whether or not a relationship was something we should pursue. That came and passed and nothing happened except we both realized life was more fun/seemed a bit better when the other was there. So about a week later we were chatting online about the possibility of a relationship when I suddenly realized that I was not having a panic attack. Tyler instantly called and asked me to be his girlfriend.....at which point I had a panic attack.

Since then things have developed weirdly but we have grown in our friendship and our relationship. (Kinda silly to use both phrases in the same sentence being that a friendship is a form of a relationship but ya know what I mean.....hopefully). We have been incredibly blessed. We have had to have breaks from each other to focus on His will for us as individuals and us together as a team. And we have been blessed with some positive examples of Godly couples and friends who have prayed for us.

And then Tyler proposed with explosives and an Ipod. The Ipod was expected, the explosives were kinda sorta, and the proposal? Not. At. ALL. Which leads me to this current state of realization that I am about to be this man's wife and that is a prolly a code red level of commitment (pretty sure code red is high alert) which has a lot of responsibilities and prolly going to have a lot of "je ne sais pas" moments. But that is okay I have been spending some time with God (which is always a smart thing to do) and considering somethings. And I have felt a calling to not only become this man's wife but to become his support because he is going to be called to ministry. Don't know what he's going to be called to do or when or how. I just know Tyler is going to be called to do something in God's time and that I am to prepare my heart not to be just a wife but to be a Godly woman first so I can be the Godly wife he needs. If that makes sense. Might not cause I haven't been to sleep yet.....but well, the fact remains that I should be in full blown panic attack.

But I'm not. Because even though I don't know, in whatever language you prefer it, many things what I do know is that God knows and is in control. What could be more comforting?

And well, I will have to tell you about how I've felt called as it relates to my recent visit to Perry, music I've been listening to, and one of dad's most recent posts another time. I really have to go to sleep now. God bless. *smiles*